


In Which Violence is the Answer

by MadameMiz



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 18:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1437727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadameMiz/pseuds/MadameMiz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Perry rolls his eyes at Heinz’s babbling, taking advantage of the distraction to spin out of his grasp. He knows he doesn’t have much time. The contraption Heinz used to turn him human won’t last long, and he can already feel the unsettling effects of his body changing at an atomic level. He needs to wrap this up soon."</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Violence is the Answer

In the penthouse of the strangest building in Danville, Heinz Doofenshmirtz presses a hand to his bleeding mouth. He’d been too slow to dodge the fist that was now coming back for a second round, but he moves quickly this time. He drops and then lunges up, grabbing for Perry’s outstretched arm, and twists it around his enemy’s back painfully. He’s fairly sure it’s sprained.

“You know, I don’t remember our fight being quite so violent when we were both platypuses. Platipi? Er… Platypeople?”

Perry rolls his eyes at Heinz’s babbling, taking advantage of the distraction to spin out of his grasp. He knows he doesn’t have much time. The contraption Heinz used to turn him human won’t last long, and he can already feel the unsettling effects of his body changing at an atomic level. He needs to wrap this up soon.

He uses the momentum of his spin to grab onto Heinz’s wrist and throw him away from his body, sending him crashing into the wall behind him with a loud thud. Perry nearly grins at the dazed look Heinz gives him. He walks unsteadily toward the man, sure that he’s finished, but Heinz surprises him with a well-placed punch to the solar plexus. Perry doubles over, breath gone in an instant, and internally curses human anatomy.

“Ha!” Heinz croons, “Not so tough now, are you? And to think, you—”

Whatever Heinz was going to say next dies with a strangled gasp as a short, stocky frame slams him back and Perry’s hand latches around his throat. Everything comes to a pause as he gives a threatening squeeze, careful to still allow room to breathe. The room is thick with adrenaline and sweat and the sounds of mingled, labored breathing, and in this moment of shared personal space, they may as well be the only two people in the universe. Perry feels Heinz’s pulse thrumming beneath his fingers and senses his own heart adjusting instinctively to mimic it. He swallows hard.

Heinz looks down a Perry with eyes that are frightened and intense and expectantly, maniacally excited all at the same time. For a moment, looking into those eyes that are glowing so bright, Perry almost regrets that his time as a human is just about up. He knows he has to make his final moment count. A jolt of inspiration hits him, and he suddenly knows exactly what he needs to do.

Perry feels a violent tremor shake him to the core, and he realizes it’s now or never.

He leans forward, slowly, and under his fingers he feels Heinz’s pulse pick up speed. He watches the man’s face morph from confusion to apprehension and into several other expressions in rapid succession and, adjusting his hold on Heinz’s neck, uses his hand to yank his anxious nemesis down until their faces are side by side.

Heinz is so momentarily distracted by the warm breath on his ear that he nearly misses the words Perry murmurs fiercely into it.

“Curse you, Heinz Doofenshmirtz.”

And then the weight that had been supporting Heinz is gone. He crumples, sliding down along the wall, and hits the ground just in time for something small and solid land on his lap. His hand immediately goes to his throat, where he feels the beginnings of a hand-shaped bruise forming, capillaries exploding like tiny fireworks. He rubs the worst of the tenderness away. It’ll hurt more tomorrow, and it won’t look pretty, but he’s oddly okay with that.

He feels something squirm against his bent legs, and looks down to see his nemesis, once again a platypus, clutching at his head. He remembers the effects of species-swapping from his own escapades with becoming a platypus and winces in sympathy. He could take advantage of Perry’s disorientation, but frankly, he’s in no shape to do much more than lean against the wall and hope he doesn’t have a concussion.

“Cktrt…”

“Heh, yeah, the after-effects aren’t… aren’t so fun, are they?”

There’s no reply save a baleful glare, and Heinz zones out for a moment, staring down at the top of Perry’s askew hat. Just as he moves to get up, to find some much needed first aid supplies, Perry’s words come back to him.

At first he only smiles, but laughter quickly bubbles its way up his throat, and he soon find that he can’t stop. Heinz thinks of how ridiculous he must look, bruised and bloodied and hunched over his equally battered nemesis, giggling maniacally. Once the worst of his fit dies down, he reaches forward, gingerly rubbing away smudges of blood from the sides of Perry’s small face. He doesn’t even know whose it is, but he supposes it doesn’t matter.

“I loathe you, Perry the Platypus.”

Perry cracks an eye open and gives the tiniest of smirks, which Heinz returns enthusiastically.

Hm. Maybe he’s concussed after all.


End file.
